One Lesson I Learnt From Divorce
I was going to start this post by saying that...

I was going to start this post by saying that getting divorced was the most difficult experience I have ever had but that’s not true, the divorce was the easy part, even losing the home which had been paid for mostly by me wasn’t that bad. Losing the house was annoying but it wasn’t that bad. 

The most difficult thing was leaving my child and having constant battles with my ex-wife to get access to my child, she stopped our daughter seeing me on several occasions and I had to take her back to court several times to get her to honour agreements and court orders then she wanted to leave the country with our daughter, more court action which lasted over four years and cost us both thousands. 

At the end of the divorce I was really, really angry not at my ex-wife, I always knew what she was like I actually found her challenging behaviour attractive once. I was angry at the government and the court system for allowing such a ridiculous charade that benefitted no one except solicitors. I was 36 years, so skint and scared to move on that I lived with my grandparents and then something happened which made me realise a few things about myself, the way the mind and even the universe works.

I realised that whatever you put out into the world you will attract back to you, I had been putting out a lot of anger so I attracted a lot of anger back towards me, I realised why I had been attracted to such a difficult woman in the first place, I realised why I had lacked confidence and suffered from social anxiety, I realised that I had been abusive not because I meant to be but because I had grown up in an environment that made me think it was normal to behave that way, I realised that I had to change or I would end up affecting my own child in the same way and I could see a few examples of what I might become. 

The most important lesson I learnt was that everything happens for a reason, that my own actions had caused me to get into the situation I now found myself, I had been programmed on a subconscious level to end up in this situation and all the events I experienced had to happen so I could realise the benefit of this lesson. 

Realising everything happens for a reason has completely changed my outlook on life, I am no longer negative and angry when things don’t go the way I want because I know there is a lesson in there for me, an opportunity to grow and I know that something better is coming along. Energy flows where the attention goes, which means we can attract more of what we want by focusing on the good things and being grateful for everything that goes the right way for us. Knowing everything happens for a reason means I don’t dwell on negativity for as long as I used to, I probably still dwell on it for longer than I should but I am a lot better at letting things go than I used to be. 

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Mark

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